[true]

I enjoy our repartee true. And we do differ on our beliefs and definitions. i've been given mine based on experience dealing mostly with people. i dismiss the bumblings of the scum that is the average man. They make this place into the hell you describe. But i am very much alive. i possess awareness. i acknowledge that i will someday relinquish that awareness and will go back to that void whatever it is. Maybe i'll achieve total freedom before that, maybe not.

Here is a crash-course or summary of J. Krishnamurti. But if you "look" without your mind, you'll see these are not K's teachings - these are things that anyone who looks without mind will see. So try not to think of this as his or my personal view. There's nothing personal about it:

People have experiences.
Experience produces knowledge.
Knowledge produces images.
Knowledge/Images replace actuality.

So we can see this in your post. You say we have beliefs and definitions (knowledge). You say they've been given you by experience.
This knowledge becomes images - "bumblings", "scum", "average", "hell".
So now you, we, interact with our images instead of actual people, the actual world.
That means you're dead. You're interacting with a dead world, dead knowledge.
All knowledge is dead because all knowledge must be known and therefore
must be the past and static. The knower, which is dead, is interacting with its known images, which are dead.

So the definition I am giving, based on direct perception, is that when one interacts with their image of, say their girlfriend/wife, then they are not interacting with the present reality, but with their own mind/knowledge/past.
To live is to be without images, to interact with the present living world as it is, without knowledge. The girlfriend must be a complete mystery that can never be known. The moment something becomes known, it is dead/static. The knower in you is already dead/static.

There is nothing in this post that can be argued. It is all extremely clear and obvious to anyone who looks.