What exactly is your method of stalking? What is the stalking you're trying to do that ends up in fartsville?
The stalking I'm into is this:
"I'm not being a warrior" (I observe this thought arising)
"Today, I'm a pretty good warrior" (I observe this thought arising)
"I'm stalking" (I observe this thought arising)
"I'm a fart" (I observe this thought arising)
I notice that sometimes I'm "it" or "on",
and sometimes I'm "not it", I'm "off".
I notice that "it" and "not it" are thoughts arising.
I notice that "on" and "off" are thoughts arising.
I notice the correspondence of these thoughts with certain events.
I notice that thoughts and events change, but that the observer or noticer is constant. Even if I "go unconscious" or "automated, habitual, asleep, etc.", the noticer still notices that I've done this.
I then allow my awareness to "withdraw" into just noticing, without attachment or identification with thought/events arising.
But this is not a goal. Who wants to remain in non-attachment, non-identification forever? Who can remain anywhere? States of awareness, too, are arising and passing away. All "states" of awareness happen IN awareness. Awareness is the one constant behind everything - the ground of being.
So don't identify with identification or non-identification. :blink:
Don't attach to attachment or non-attachment.
(Observe the thought "that is better than this" arising)
Notice that "better" is always sometime other than now,
always someplace other than here,
always something other than
this.
"How do you know", I ask myself, "that
this is not enough?"
"How do you know that
this isn't all there is?"
"Where is this 'better other'?"
"In the future, in the past, in the mind..."
"What is this future, this past, this mind?"
"Thoughts reflecting upon themselves..."
In this way, I stalk myself until I'm no longer there, until there is no reflection;
and life is just living, as it has always been.
From here, the ideas of being a warrior and being self-important are equal follies;
and the ideas of controlled folly and uncontrolled folly are
still equal follies!!!
As are the personal and impersonal, the ordinary and extraordinary,
self and other, thinking and not thinking, freedom and bondage, life and death ....
All of these have integrated/disintegrated (??) into the oneness which is Life, Self, That Which Is, The Unavoidable Present, Spirit, Tao, Infinity, Nagual ...
(so many names for this One thing that is no thing!)
And then I make some nachos, grab a beer and watch football.
And if that sounds less than extraordinary, then you've already forgotten oneness and identified with a dualistic dream.
Which is fine.
To forget something as obvious as
this is quite extraordinary!
The mystery prevails!
